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Tuesday, January 30, 2018

Seeing the sunset...and remembering Family and Friends...

I have to admit.  I'm struggling lately - with 'death.'

Don't be shocked by that statement...it's just that I've lost several good friends over the past few years, most younger than me, and these are all people who have had a huge impact on my life.

As each friend passes away it's now taking me longer and longer to 'get over' the sadness of their loss.

Everybody, including experts, say this feeling is normal as we age but none the less it doesn't soften the loss in any manner.

First off I've lost my Father, late step Father, Mother, Aunts/Uncles and those close friends of my Parents that we called 'honourary' relatives.

My Dad's brother was 47 and left 7 kids when he died.  Dad's folks were just 61 and 62 when they passed away.

My Mother made it to 87 years old, and most of her side of the Family made it to their 90's.

I'm 67 and have outlived several of my elders in the Forbes clan.

Recently I decided to make a major change in my lifestyle that is reflective of the losses of my Friends and Family members by deciding to sell our Arizona condo, which we have held for the past decade.

As I explained to my friends - who I all adore down there - there are no guarantees in life and each of these losses have had a combined profound affect on my psyche that leaves me with an overriding desire to be around MY family and friends back home in Edmonton - Alberta - Canada.

My brothers are in Toronto - Calgary - and Vancouver.  I don't get there often enough to see them and, as time flies, know we MUST plan better to spend some time together...before....it's...too...late!

Yeah sitting in a blinding snowstorm - or chipping snow off my windshield certainly magnifies the effect of the move - but - each year over the past few years my Days in the USA have been falling significantly meaning I'm funding a place that is two thirds of the year 'empty' at an inflated cost due to the Canadian/US dollar exchange but more so when I see '100 days' as my track record I can't help but think I'm missing some pretty good family moments every year.

Birthdays away.  Anniversary away.  Those magic moments that only Grandchildren can provide - like watching 18 month old Liam mimic everything that Mom Rayanne does and receiving a video of him walking around nude in the living room with a kids size vacuum cleaner 'helping' Mom simply breaks my heart.

To help cheer you up your friends and Family - and I guess the experts - tell you to focus on the qualities and impact those people you lost had on you while they were still alive - and for that it works temporarily because the quality of people that I hang out with are all 'top notch' and I applaud what they did while they were here on earth - but the true story is I'd really like to spend more time with them and 'grow old' together - somehow celebrating the fact of what we did here on the planet while we were blessed with our lives here actually meant something.

Is there a heaven?  Are we going to hook up again?

When you hear your Fathers voice on the radio 37 years after he passed away.

When you drive through the Riverbend area and see the road signs named after him.

When you're part of a group that is opening a synergy centre called the Jerry Forbes Centre for Community Spirit.....

|It only reminds you of how sad it is that Dad missed seeing his three sons achievements in the broadcasting business.

Dad...we all did 'pretty good.'

|It reminds you of how sad it is that he didn't get to meet my daughters - and eventually his grandchildren.

Proud as punch and honoured at such recognition - but you know what - I'd love for him to have little Liam sitting on his lap - tugging at his Pipe - or grabbing at his ears just once in my life.

58 was way too young to leave us - but you can imagine the sheer pride I have watching 25,000 toys scoot out the door of Santas Anonymous every Christmas.

Nothing makes me prouder than seeing them help out at Santas  events - or selling 50/50 tickets at an Oilers game to raise funds for the cause.

The list of those lost is way too long to properly honour those friends of mine who have passed away over the past decade especially.

I have been so blessed to have been able to enjoy almost ten years of retirement allready with the lifestyle that I enjoy.  A nice car - motorcycles - place in the Sun - travelling to some of the most exotic countries of the world.

Some good gigs too.

I don't take a day for granted any more - and my entire focus for the past ten years while I have time on my hands is to "tangibly" give back to the City of Edmonton.

That's why I work so hard at the projects that I get involved in - and they too are numerous - and the people inside those organizations are the reason I work my butt off because each and every one of those people enrich my life, greatly.

So as I write my Edmonton Sun goodbye column about Tommy Banks this morning I'm just feeling a little sorry - not for myself - but for those great people I was so blessed to call friends over my six plus decades on this crazy planet for not being around anymore.

I miss each and every one of you and thank you for the pleasure of knowing you in my lifetime.

|I'm a product of the amazing people I call friends - and Family - and I just wish that they'd gotten to enjoy the 'sunset' a little more like I'm planning to do.

I'm hoping for a fire alarm to be pulled on my 100th birthday as the candles set it off in my home.


Bless every one of you for whatever small moments we spend together - and I hope you realize how much each of those moments mean to a guy who is ageing and missing his best friends and family members.

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