Thoughts on getting old(er)

I'm at a point in my life when years seem like months - months seem like weeks - weeks seem like days - days seem like hours - and hours can often seem like seconds.

Father time can often play cruel tricks on your mind when you think "that really happened 9 years ago...it seemed just like yesterday."

I was never one of those guys that had 'benchmark changes' in my life - like those turning 30, 40, 50, 60 thoughts that those birthdays bring to people often.

I do, however, seem to be having flashback memories to certain points in my life more often than usual lately.

As such, as I 'mature' (I hate the term age...it's something physically out of your control but very much IN your control how old you 'act') I wonder about the aging process and the benefits of my current situation.


As I scoot towards my 'seventies' I'm as playful as when I was in my second and third decades...and I intend to stay that way forever!

In age I now see 'beauty' - eyes that reflect experience and history.

I see 'respect' for people who have lived many many years often under difficult situations.

I see 'love' as they're the ones who actually have time to stop and smell the roses - they're the ones who don't care that their hair looks like or that their way of dress is less than perfect - they're the ones who still hold doors open for women and 'older' people or give up their seat on the bus even though their fragile legs aren't what they used to be themselves.

I now smile and say hi to babies...in fact every baby that comes anywhere near me.

I hope I'm not scaring the Mothers because this used to be very normal in my lifetime.

There's nothing more beautiful to me than getting that return little precious smile as the Pumpkin grabs hold of Mom's leg knowing he/she isn't supposed to acknowledge strangers.

At my age I am so happy that I can say things without anybody firing me now - and I feel so sorry for people that I know that are so trapped in jobs, careers or even relationships that they publicly state 'they hate.'

At my age I'm really missing several of my good friends that passed away 'way too soon' - and especially for their living parents, or children, who never got to spend as much time as I do with my extended family.

Through health problems or tragic suicide I have lost several people who passed away 'way too soon' and "if I had only known" there was a time clock on each and every one of us for our time on earth I would have spent way more time with these beautiful people or offered 'whatever help they needed' at the time.

As I dream each night 'reflection' means so much more to me now as some of those precious memories from my past simply fade away and I start to wonder 'what if' in my thoughts.

What if my Mom and Dad didn't divorce in 1961? - I wonder what this years Family reunion would feel like with them spending time with my brothers and sister; my children; and our wives.

My kids never got to meet my Dad - but get to hear his voice on CHED every Christmas when they play the Santas Anonymous "Creature" - and they love love love both of their Grandmothers - and I'd love THEM to hear from my parents about THEIR lives so they get to know them better and especially that all too important family tree that I know so little about.

As I get older I like spending more time with Gen "C" too (connected) and I love to listen to their opinions and thoughts on the world. These kids keep ME young - keep ME in touch - and help push me to continue to learn so that I don't turn into one of those old boring people who stop growing and learning as they age.

And I feel sad that most of us often 'don't' listen to these kids or dismiss their ideas as 'dumb'....because they ARE our future and when they question WHY we do things often they are very correct in their observations!

I like to apologize to them for the things MY generation are responsible for that affect their lives.

We made up a) too many rules b) have too many traffic lights c) make really crappy products d) have too many chain stores e) are way too greedy f) don't share enough g) really screwed up the environment h) work way too hard/long, i) fought too many wars; j) hold too much hate for others simply being 'different' from us; oh I could go on and on and on....And...

....Yes I acknowledge the fact that we did a bunch of really good things in our lives too but in the OVER/UNDER on good vs bad I think you know where I sit.

Finally as I grow old I never take it for granted how 'lucky' I have been in my life.

I have so much to be proud about - and so happy with my accomplishments in the time I have spent on this earth.

Mostly...

I'm glad I learned from mistakes.

I'm glad I took chances because that's where the risk/reward thing really benefits people who do great things.

I'm glad I have my children - for they are 'everything in the world to me'

I'm glad I was born into a family who defines craziness - each of us in a very different manner but we laugh long and often for which I am so very grateful for when you see other families and people.

I am so extremly proud of my brothers; my kids; and my wife that it is hard to describe. They are all talented and beautiful caring people!

I'm glad I got to travel as much as I did - and I have every intention of continuing because it makes up for me not paying attention to teachers in school.

There is nothing more amazing than touching the Eiffel Tower - starring at the Mona Lisa - talking to a guy in Prague about Communism in his life - standing on a mountain in the Swiss Alps - strolling through the Tower of London - touring through the Arizona Memorial at Pearl Harbour - or even just having a pensive moment with a cigar in the middle of the majestic Rocky Mountains between Banff and Jasper.

Yes I guess that's what aging is really all about.

Stopping down for a few moments to smell the roses - to enjoy your life and accomplishments - and to truly reflect how lucky you are to be alive in this crazy world.

As I'm now 61 years old I guess this is what a 'mid life crisis' is all about then eh?

I wonder how I'll feel on my hundredth birthday!

I'll be sure to let you know!

Random thoughts....

SPORTS!

I think I've found the definition of "SPORTS." "Those who can't spend a hell of a lot of money watching those that can!" I do respect their talents but MAN is it getting expensive to watch you gents/ladies perform.

AIR CANADA:

I've never been a big fan of unions, but I do understand why some businesses need them. (Read: Bad management) I am, however, mystified why somebody as smart as a pilot is stupid enough to play 'sick games' with International travelers.

Mom's with little children; students stuck on a spring break; businessmen delayed getting to important meetings; it really doesn't matter but you Pilots just became the same as a guy who stands on a corner with a sign slamming the people who pay your very salary while he warms up around a burning barrel.

Let YOUR guys get in a room with THEIR guys - throw a sandwich in every day or so - but pretend you're a JURY and get an agreement before an entire country goes wacko on the cockpit door.

AB vs AZ:

A 'hand done' car wash in Phoenix Arizona is priced - on average - at about "$6.00 plus tip" and I think I just paid $39 here for a machine done 'basic' car wash.

An oil change is - again on average - $19.00 compared to $50 plus here in Edmonton.

Competion is everything, as is the odd 'recession' to help keep prices down.

In contrast, however, is car registrations in Arizona which are about $285 for a new car compared to around $85 for ours. They DO have amazing highways and 'no potholes' however. Just sayin'

POLITICS:

Watching the current GOP (I still find it hard to call it the "Grand Old Party") search for a leader is one of the strangest things I've ever seen. Again seemingly really smart people argue about things in public forums for over a year til finally one of them wins the right to take on President Obama this fall.

At this point there still isn't a 'clear' winner in the Curly Larry and Moe sweepstakes.

MEDIA/bricks:

The Province of Alberta has close to 3 million people. It's one of the most vibrant Provinces in Canada and certainly it's impact on the WORLD through our vast resoures puts us in high regard throughout the globe.

At last count out of ALL media - radio, television, and newspapers - I cannot find ONE media that is owned and operated locally.

That simply is "sad!"

Recently several media companies have let go 'long time - highly respected General Managers' and have hired "Supervisors" to report back to Toronto on the stations activities.

I can't think of anything more disrespectful to their employees AND to the people who read, view or listen to their products in our dynamic cities!

A recent National newspaper article also says that Vancouver and Toronto find us "cocky and arrogrant." I'm ok with that!

AND...

MEDIA/bouquets:

Finally a big thank you to Sun Media.

As I have well chronicled over the past two years my daughter Rayanne is fighting a strange and seemingly endless disease (Graves!) and one of the most positive things you can give somebody who is fighting this is a giant 'positive' at the end of the fight to help keep their spirits up.

As such SUN MEDIA have offered to mentor her in Journalism and if you've read www.rayannesthoughts.blogspot.com you'll see her 'way with words' is quite natural; creative; and interesting.

She cannot work a full time job while going through this so an opportunity to learn from some of the best in the business is a supeb opportunity for which I say a giant THANK YOU to Gordon Norrie; Jose Rodriguez, Steve Serviss, Donna Harker and any other Edmonton Sun staff who may help Rayanne out ever the next few months.

It is 'greatly' appreciated!

I wish I was as tough as....my kid!

Both my daughters, Lauren and Rayanne are proud when I teach them things - but in reality - I'm twice as proud because I learn things FROM them too.

First off, because she's the oldest, LAUREN.

Lauren's a 'rock' - strong, confident, knows where she is going in life, kind, warm, and gentle.

She's always the one to point out a new band to me - she loves hockey and football - and motorcycles.

Wonder where she got that from eh?

I just want to say 'thank you' to Lauren for all her support through what we're going through with her sister because you're always there for Rayanne. Not only are the girls 'sisters' but they're 'best friends' and I know a whole bunch of families who don't share such a tightness.

Love you Lauren!

Then there's RAYANNE:

Rayanne's teaching me 'toughness' with her fight against Graves Disease.

Gawd I cry like a baby just to have my teeth cleaned and here's this kid that hasn't had a normal day in the past two years with 3 surgeries so far - and a few more to go - and the uncertainty of what this stupid disease will do to you as we go along.

Her 'entire' focus is on helping others from her experiences with this - and her blogs are truly inspiring and overwhelming.

There has not been one "poor me" since the day this thing was discovered other than just trying to understand 'why me?' - for what she has had to endure.

Please read and share. The more the 'read count' grows the more it makes Rayanne happy that others my benefit from what she is learning and passing along to others...

www.rayannesthoughts.blogspot.com

Next a 'thank you' to the MANY Doctors that we are dealing with. You people are the most special types of people in the world and I truly respect what you do for us.

Every time I see an athelete whine or complain about 'anything' while making obscene and ridiculous salaries to simply 'play a game' it often makes me reflect on the medical industry and how dedicated you are to 'helping others.'

THANK YOU!

Next the Nurses.

Ditto on the THANK YOU thing.

You're surrounded by sickness and pain for extremely long periods of time....watching people enduring suffering that is almost immeasureable yet you are always there helping others as well.

I can't imagine how you feel when you go home at the end of the day to be with 'your' family!

We've met many of you over the past two years who were extremely helpful in easing Rayanne's pain and helping us understand the magnitude of the sickness.

I know you don't get thanked enough so....

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU.

Rayanne in her last blog also pointed out that 'writing' is her therapy, for which I totally concur. Sometimes it's just too damn hard to put into words 'verbally' what you go through as a parent dealing with sickness and to be able to jot down a few words of thanks truly helps release some of the pent up pressure you feel as you go through the seemingly endless process of just trying to 'get well.'

So to my girls, Lauren and Rayanne, thanks for teaching Dad some of the more important things in life - and I can safely and proudly say about both of my daughters.... it's all wrapped up in one simple little word.

LOVE!

And to ALL of our friends our sincere thanks for your support too.

Through your nice notes - "likes" on Facebook - and emails - it really has helped us continue with the intent of sharing this awful experience so that other families may garner some benefit from what WE have learned with our fight against Graves Disease.

We have very special friends and having your support has also been overwhelming to us from the start.

THANK YOU!

More surgery is scheduled down the road - but with each one the FORBES FAMILY is getting tougher - and 'closer' than you can ever imagine.