Thoughts on getting old(er)

I'm at a point in my life when years seem like months - months seem like weeks - weeks seem like days - days seem like hours - and hours can often seem like seconds.

Father time can often play cruel tricks on your mind when you think "that really happened 9 years ago...it seemed just like yesterday."

I was never one of those guys that had 'benchmark changes' in my life - like those turning 30, 40, 50, 60 thoughts that those birthdays bring to people often.

I do, however, seem to be having flashback memories to certain points in my life more often than usual lately.

As such, as I 'mature' (I hate the term age...it's something physically out of your control but very much IN your control how old you 'act') I wonder about the aging process and the benefits of my current situation.


As I scoot towards my 'seventies' I'm as playful as when I was in my second and third decades...and I intend to stay that way forever!

In age I now see 'beauty' - eyes that reflect experience and history.

I see 'respect' for people who have lived many many years often under difficult situations.

I see 'love' as they're the ones who actually have time to stop and smell the roses - they're the ones who don't care that their hair looks like or that their way of dress is less than perfect - they're the ones who still hold doors open for women and 'older' people or give up their seat on the bus even though their fragile legs aren't what they used to be themselves.

I now smile and say hi to babies...in fact every baby that comes anywhere near me.

I hope I'm not scaring the Mothers because this used to be very normal in my lifetime.

There's nothing more beautiful to me than getting that return little precious smile as the Pumpkin grabs hold of Mom's leg knowing he/she isn't supposed to acknowledge strangers.

At my age I am so happy that I can say things without anybody firing me now - and I feel so sorry for people that I know that are so trapped in jobs, careers or even relationships that they publicly state 'they hate.'

At my age I'm really missing several of my good friends that passed away 'way too soon' - and especially for their living parents, or children, who never got to spend as much time as I do with my extended family.

Through health problems or tragic suicide I have lost several people who passed away 'way too soon' and "if I had only known" there was a time clock on each and every one of us for our time on earth I would have spent way more time with these beautiful people or offered 'whatever help they needed' at the time.

As I dream each night 'reflection' means so much more to me now as some of those precious memories from my past simply fade away and I start to wonder 'what if' in my thoughts.

What if my Mom and Dad didn't divorce in 1961? - I wonder what this years Family reunion would feel like with them spending time with my brothers and sister; my children; and our wives.

My kids never got to meet my Dad - but get to hear his voice on CHED every Christmas when they play the Santas Anonymous "Creature" - and they love love love both of their Grandmothers - and I'd love THEM to hear from my parents about THEIR lives so they get to know them better and especially that all too important family tree that I know so little about.

As I get older I like spending more time with Gen "C" too (connected) and I love to listen to their opinions and thoughts on the world. These kids keep ME young - keep ME in touch - and help push me to continue to learn so that I don't turn into one of those old boring people who stop growing and learning as they age.

And I feel sad that most of us often 'don't' listen to these kids or dismiss their ideas as 'dumb'....because they ARE our future and when they question WHY we do things often they are very correct in their observations!

I like to apologize to them for the things MY generation are responsible for that affect their lives.

We made up a) too many rules b) have too many traffic lights c) make really crappy products d) have too many chain stores e) are way too greedy f) don't share enough g) really screwed up the environment h) work way too hard/long, i) fought too many wars; j) hold too much hate for others simply being 'different' from us; oh I could go on and on and on....And...

....Yes I acknowledge the fact that we did a bunch of really good things in our lives too but in the OVER/UNDER on good vs bad I think you know where I sit.

Finally as I grow old I never take it for granted how 'lucky' I have been in my life.

I have so much to be proud about - and so happy with my accomplishments in the time I have spent on this earth.

Mostly...

I'm glad I learned from mistakes.

I'm glad I took chances because that's where the risk/reward thing really benefits people who do great things.

I'm glad I have my children - for they are 'everything in the world to me'

I'm glad I was born into a family who defines craziness - each of us in a very different manner but we laugh long and often for which I am so very grateful for when you see other families and people.

I am so extremly proud of my brothers; my kids; and my wife that it is hard to describe. They are all talented and beautiful caring people!

I'm glad I got to travel as much as I did - and I have every intention of continuing because it makes up for me not paying attention to teachers in school.

There is nothing more amazing than touching the Eiffel Tower - starring at the Mona Lisa - talking to a guy in Prague about Communism in his life - standing on a mountain in the Swiss Alps - strolling through the Tower of London - touring through the Arizona Memorial at Pearl Harbour - or even just having a pensive moment with a cigar in the middle of the majestic Rocky Mountains between Banff and Jasper.

Yes I guess that's what aging is really all about.

Stopping down for a few moments to smell the roses - to enjoy your life and accomplishments - and to truly reflect how lucky you are to be alive in this crazy world.

As I'm now 61 years old I guess this is what a 'mid life crisis' is all about then eh?

I wonder how I'll feel on my hundredth birthday!

I'll be sure to let you know!

Random thoughts....

SPORTS!

I think I've found the definition of "SPORTS." "Those who can't spend a hell of a lot of money watching those that can!" I do respect their talents but MAN is it getting expensive to watch you gents/ladies perform.

AIR CANADA:

I've never been a big fan of unions, but I do understand why some businesses need them. (Read: Bad management) I am, however, mystified why somebody as smart as a pilot is stupid enough to play 'sick games' with International travelers.

Mom's with little children; students stuck on a spring break; businessmen delayed getting to important meetings; it really doesn't matter but you Pilots just became the same as a guy who stands on a corner with a sign slamming the people who pay your very salary while he warms up around a burning barrel.

Let YOUR guys get in a room with THEIR guys - throw a sandwich in every day or so - but pretend you're a JURY and get an agreement before an entire country goes wacko on the cockpit door.

AB vs AZ:

A 'hand done' car wash in Phoenix Arizona is priced - on average - at about "$6.00 plus tip" and I think I just paid $39 here for a machine done 'basic' car wash.

An oil change is - again on average - $19.00 compared to $50 plus here in Edmonton.

Competion is everything, as is the odd 'recession' to help keep prices down.

In contrast, however, is car registrations in Arizona which are about $285 for a new car compared to around $85 for ours. They DO have amazing highways and 'no potholes' however. Just sayin'

POLITICS:

Watching the current GOP (I still find it hard to call it the "Grand Old Party") search for a leader is one of the strangest things I've ever seen. Again seemingly really smart people argue about things in public forums for over a year til finally one of them wins the right to take on President Obama this fall.

At this point there still isn't a 'clear' winner in the Curly Larry and Moe sweepstakes.

MEDIA/bricks:

The Province of Alberta has close to 3 million people. It's one of the most vibrant Provinces in Canada and certainly it's impact on the WORLD through our vast resoures puts us in high regard throughout the globe.

At last count out of ALL media - radio, television, and newspapers - I cannot find ONE media that is owned and operated locally.

That simply is "sad!"

Recently several media companies have let go 'long time - highly respected General Managers' and have hired "Supervisors" to report back to Toronto on the stations activities.

I can't think of anything more disrespectful to their employees AND to the people who read, view or listen to their products in our dynamic cities!

A recent National newspaper article also says that Vancouver and Toronto find us "cocky and arrogrant." I'm ok with that!

AND...

MEDIA/bouquets:

Finally a big thank you to Sun Media.

As I have well chronicled over the past two years my daughter Rayanne is fighting a strange and seemingly endless disease (Graves!) and one of the most positive things you can give somebody who is fighting this is a giant 'positive' at the end of the fight to help keep their spirits up.

As such SUN MEDIA have offered to mentor her in Journalism and if you've read www.rayannesthoughts.blogspot.com you'll see her 'way with words' is quite natural; creative; and interesting.

She cannot work a full time job while going through this so an opportunity to learn from some of the best in the business is a supeb opportunity for which I say a giant THANK YOU to Gordon Norrie; Jose Rodriguez, Steve Serviss, Donna Harker and any other Edmonton Sun staff who may help Rayanne out ever the next few months.

It is 'greatly' appreciated!

I wish I was as tough as....my kid!

Both my daughters, Lauren and Rayanne are proud when I teach them things - but in reality - I'm twice as proud because I learn things FROM them too.

First off, because she's the oldest, LAUREN.

Lauren's a 'rock' - strong, confident, knows where she is going in life, kind, warm, and gentle.

She's always the one to point out a new band to me - she loves hockey and football - and motorcycles.

Wonder where she got that from eh?

I just want to say 'thank you' to Lauren for all her support through what we're going through with her sister because you're always there for Rayanne. Not only are the girls 'sisters' but they're 'best friends' and I know a whole bunch of families who don't share such a tightness.

Love you Lauren!

Then there's RAYANNE:

Rayanne's teaching me 'toughness' with her fight against Graves Disease.

Gawd I cry like a baby just to have my teeth cleaned and here's this kid that hasn't had a normal day in the past two years with 3 surgeries so far - and a few more to go - and the uncertainty of what this stupid disease will do to you as we go along.

Her 'entire' focus is on helping others from her experiences with this - and her blogs are truly inspiring and overwhelming.

There has not been one "poor me" since the day this thing was discovered other than just trying to understand 'why me?' - for what she has had to endure.

Please read and share. The more the 'read count' grows the more it makes Rayanne happy that others my benefit from what she is learning and passing along to others...

www.rayannesthoughts.blogspot.com

Next a 'thank you' to the MANY Doctors that we are dealing with. You people are the most special types of people in the world and I truly respect what you do for us.

Every time I see an athelete whine or complain about 'anything' while making obscene and ridiculous salaries to simply 'play a game' it often makes me reflect on the medical industry and how dedicated you are to 'helping others.'

THANK YOU!

Next the Nurses.

Ditto on the THANK YOU thing.

You're surrounded by sickness and pain for extremely long periods of time....watching people enduring suffering that is almost immeasureable yet you are always there helping others as well.

I can't imagine how you feel when you go home at the end of the day to be with 'your' family!

We've met many of you over the past two years who were extremely helpful in easing Rayanne's pain and helping us understand the magnitude of the sickness.

I know you don't get thanked enough so....

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU.

Rayanne in her last blog also pointed out that 'writing' is her therapy, for which I totally concur. Sometimes it's just too damn hard to put into words 'verbally' what you go through as a parent dealing with sickness and to be able to jot down a few words of thanks truly helps release some of the pent up pressure you feel as you go through the seemingly endless process of just trying to 'get well.'

So to my girls, Lauren and Rayanne, thanks for teaching Dad some of the more important things in life - and I can safely and proudly say about both of my daughters.... it's all wrapped up in one simple little word.

LOVE!

And to ALL of our friends our sincere thanks for your support too.

Through your nice notes - "likes" on Facebook - and emails - it really has helped us continue with the intent of sharing this awful experience so that other families may garner some benefit from what WE have learned with our fight against Graves Disease.

We have very special friends and having your support has also been overwhelming to us from the start.

THANK YOU!

More surgery is scheduled down the road - but with each one the FORBES FAMILY is getting tougher - and 'closer' than you can ever imagine.

Lessons from an old fart...

We've all heard them...."Darn kids these days - when I was a kid I'd walk yadda yadda yadda."

Well I "did" walk a bunch when I was a kid. From beside the (then) Storyland Valley Zoo all the way up to the Traffic Circle on 149th street" - but I digress. (Done for effect for old(er) people reading this!)

One of the greatest sayings my late Father Jerry Forbes left me with was "I got old too soon - and I got smart too late."

And how I relate to that is by giving some of my 'younger' blog readers some sage advice from my 61 years on the planet.

Now I'm no Pulitzer Prize winner but I 'have' lived and I 'have' had some success in my chosen field so my advice is...

Watch your health: I've lost several friends, and family members that are in the 53 to 65 age range over the past several years. I know - thats not that old. We all think we will live to be 85 years old but that's just not the case.

The one thing that we CAN control though is what we eat and how much we excercise. I recently purchased a new bicycle and I've been riding between 45 minutes to an hour every day.

When I get back to Edmonton I'm going to remove the towels and clothing hanging for the past year from the treadmill and get my butt back on that as well.

I'm watching what I eat better now too and although I have no intention of eating purely rabbit food full time it's amazing how a little common sense can go a long way.

I 'feel' much better when I'm active and I have full intentions of being around for the birth of my grandchildren's children (Over to you Lauren and Rayanne) so getting rid of that 'bad' food will help prolong my chances to see my 85th birthday.

Forget the magic powders; forget Jenny Craig; focus on a long term plan and stick to it.

OK - treats every once in awhile to pay you off for your diligence.

Next, with an active body comes an active mind.

I was part of a great web series by Ben Babchishin called "Father Time is a Bastard and Mother Nature is a Bit of a Bitch." It was a fun series (available on Youtube) about turning 50. Hell that was more than a decade ago for me - but it's amazing how many people hit that age and simply just'stop learning.'

Hanging around 'young people' (under 50 ha) keeps you engaged and challenged simply to keep up with them. I've learned a lot from my "Bridging the Gap" program (mentors with up and comers series) and fully intend to continue with the project.

We're living in an amazing technological world and by being active on Social Media you're expanding your world.

I have a 92 year old Aunt who Skypes her family every day. Another Aunt in her 90's still golfs and curls every week.

Turn off Matlock and get engaged!

You don't have to like Jersey Shore but you should know who SNOOPY and THE INCIDENT are for when TMZ follows them coming out of jail. (*Am I close Rayanne?)

Next, find a good mentor (or more)

Knowledge comes from experience and it's always great to chat with successful people and find out how they got there.

One of my best all time mentors is Bruce Hogle, formerly of CFRN/CTV. While Bruce was at the station he used to drop by about once a month or so when I worked across the hallway at Standard Radio.

I would close the door; wouldn't check my email or answer the phone; and I'd bounce off those 'management problems' that I was puzzled by to see how he may have handled the situation.

Bruce is not only the biggest 'gentleman' you've ever met, but is highly recognized for his Public Service work (He's got the Order of Canada btw, and countless other awards) - and knows virtually 'every' important person in Edmonton. He opened 'many' doors for me and to this day I look forward to a chat with Bruce.

Most successful people like 'sharing' their knowledge and most won't fully solve your problems but they 'will' point you in the right direction. My Dad was a master at it!

Finally...TRAVEL. Instead of going to an all inclusive hotel in the middle of nowhere don't miss an opportunity to get out and see the world.

I went to Hawaii 9 times and loved it there but it was usually just to avoid winter. It wasn't until I was in my 50's that I hopped overseas to see what Europe is all about.

Seeing, experiencing, and enjoying 'culture' really opens up your eyes to the world we live in today. Seeing how life is on the other side of the pond is truly interesting, exciting and rewarding.

I've been over four times now and intend to go many more times and especially before I'm wheelchair bound and eating consume for lunch.

Belgium is amazing. Prague was an eye opener talking to a guy who lived through the comunism era. London's culture clash from Parliament to the "Pickle" City Hall is a must. Paris with the Eiffel Tower and Louvre was stunning. Rome and a walk through the catacombs of the Vatican where all the deceased Popes rest is hard to describe. Riding a motorcycle at the 4,000 foot level through Switzerland to Austria is jaw droppingly beautiful.

Yes it takes $'s but it's worth every penny.

So what I guess I'm saying with all this is "yes" I've been very lucky in life, but it's not without working hard, and it wasn't without a tangible plan especially when my Dad passed away at the young age of 58.

Live a little.

Live a lot.

Make your mark in the business world but don't sacrifice everything else that is out there and 'especially' be an inspiration to your children to do the same.

It's a big wide beautiful world and experience as much as you possibly can while you grace the world with your presence here.

As the legendary producer David Foster so glibly said "You're only on this earth for a short time you're dead for a really long time."

Just a few thoughts from a guy enjoying the 'golden' years of life!

Miss Houston will see you now...

One of the best benefits of being in the media is the opportunity to meet interesting people.

I got an early start on appreciating that benefit when my late father Jerry Forbes used to come home and tell the family about who dropped in to CHED that day. It was always interesting people....Tony Bennett; The Ames Brothers; etc. etc.

Here's a classic picture of Dad and John Barton in the mid 1950's doing a reverse racism fun kinda shot where he is actually 'shining' the great Nat King Coles shoes - and the grin on Nat's face shows he obviously was enjoying the irony of the picture.

Another great one circa 1957 I have is Dad, all 6 foot 5 inches of him, towering over Don and Phil - the "Everly Brothers" - one huddled under each of Dad's long arms.

When Expo '86 was on in Vancouver the brothers were playing at the event and I was in attendance at a meet and greet when I showed them the picture.

I don't know if they were being polite or not but they stated "we remember this picture" - and I got them to autograph it.

I got to meet many great stars over the years myself and some were tremendously gracious and open while others were real jerks.

Among the greats were people like Lionel Richie.

Lionel was very sincere when chatting with him...he'd look you right in the eyes...give you a firm hand shake and 'thank you' for coming.

My personal best highlight ever was the amazing Sarah Brightman, whom I've seen in concert three times and I'd go again and again again if she was in the neighborhood.

One thing you have to remember is that these artists have 'just finished' performing in concert. Some have been in high power performances (like Sarah hanging from the roof of Rexall) and are extremely tired. It's an obligation most, I'm sure, would rather not do but it is truly appreciated when you get to see the 'real person' and especially when you get a chance to throw a little admiration their way.

There are 'opposites' to the nice guy/girl thing too.

Sting kind of 'grunted' when I tried to ask him about the making of the video in Tuscany that was shot the day the Twin Towers hit the ground in New York on 9/11. I mentioned Chris Botti and obviously Sting thought it was 'all about him' and offered no insight what so ever.

But I can safely say the artist that I will never ever forget meeting in my entire radio career was - WHITNEY HOUSTON.

In the mid 1980's I was the Program Director for KISS FM in Vancouver and RCA record rep Ray Ramsey knew that I adored Whitney. The station was playing a ton of her music, and at that time she had reached superstar status.

When her concert was announced for the west coast I asked Ray if it would 'be at all possible' for me to meet her?

Ray mentioned that there were 'no meet and greets' planned, so I let it drop...until he walked in about a week or two later and said "I've got a surprize for you. There's no meet and greet for anybody...but you!"

He had arranged for a PRIVATE face to face meeting for 'just me.'

I'm a bit of a groupie at heart and man was I thrilled at this great opportunity and as the event unfolded the meeting ended up being rather 'unique' in its presentation.

"Before" the concert my wife and I were ushered down to the dressing room area. Kim wasn't allowed in...as I said...it was just for me.

Ray knocked on the door and Cissy Houston, Whitney's mother, opened the door and welcomed me in. Cissy was very protective of her daughter, rightly so, and graciously ushered me in towards her in the corner of the room by a giant mirror as she got ready to perform.

As the door swung open we were also met by two "very large" personal security guards...think NFL offensive lineman size. I looked over at a very tall, very beautiful young Whitney - who had the most stunning eyes I had ever seen.

Just before I was allowed to step forward to shake Whitney's hand Security Giant #1 gives me the instructions.

"You will stand beside MISS Houston - and I will take your right hand and place it on her right hip. You are not to move that hand at all. The picture will be taken and "I" will remove your hand from MISS Houston's hip.'

And that's how it went.

Obviously the instructions freaked me a little and trying to garner a real and genuine smile while you fear for your life that your limb might be cut off if you accidently moved it an inch or two by this rather large person was forefront in my mind.

So the picture was snapped, and we had about two or three minutes to simply and briefly say hello and exchange a few thoughts. I do remember telling her that "I'm your biggest groupie..." and it made her smile.

My wife Kim is searching through our archives so that I can share that picture with you and I hope to have it soon.

After the picture I attended the concert and remember being able to sing along to each and every lyric to hit after hit that "MISS" Houston performed during the show.

And as I followed her trials and tribulations and problems in her life throughout the years after meeting her it often made me reflect on that great evening in her dressing room in Vancouver.

What a talent. What a pity. What a legacy.

Why? All the money in the world couldn't help her. Great mentors like Clive Davis her aunt Dionne Warwick and Oprah also tried to help. And that "money can't buy happiness" line that you see/read over and over again couldn't save this troubled woman.

She left us far too soon - and under terrible conditions....how very sad on the eve of the Grammy's, an event that she reportedly loved, that she passes away.

I was so damn happy to meet a young, talented, beautiful, warm woman enjoying the peak of her career and each and every time I hear or read her name in the future my mind will automatically kick in to my all time favorite "MISS Houston" song "I Will Always Love You!"

God bless you "WHITNEY" - and rest in beautiful peace. You were an amazing and wonderful talent and 'gone too soon.'

*Thanks to KJ for the assitance on the pictures!*
**Sting pic - with Bear PD Greg Diamond**
***Lionel pic - with the late David Grierson, Sharon Berry (Promo Mgr), and Larry Macrae BMG Music***